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My first glimpse of my angelic guide came when I was a child.

It was a hot day in July. I could hear the birds sing as I lay awake thinking. I felt a presence, then a pink glow in my heart, familiar and then not familiar. I was excited nethertheless. I knew it was going to be a good day.

I had three friends I liked to play with. On this day, I had to share it with my cousins who were visiting.

They were called Coventry. It was funny because they were not quiet. At all.

They came after dinner. In our house that meant for dinner, so we had to wait. I was happy to see them because one of my cousins was my age and we liked each other.

When I took him to play out, he started to misbehave. It wasn't uncommon. He was a complaining sort of a boy. He wanted me to know he didn't like them the way he liked me.  

My friends were quiet. They waited for me to handle it. It upset me because I wanted it to be a nice day.

My angel guide appeared. She was in a bubble. Pink light shone all around it. My friends could see it too. I had not seen her before. I was mesmerised. Her eyes were green like little droplets of crystalline light. The angel smiled. 

My cousin had a bad habit of crying. For no good reason, he could cry, all day long. Just like that. I could see it was coming. And I knew it meant trouble. 

Again my angel appeared. 

I wasn't happy because my cousin knew when I got into trouble, I didn't come out of it. 

Then something happened to me I will never forget. I was swept up in a ball of light. The world swirled. There was no colour. Nor sound. It was silent. 

When I came back, I felt the warmth of my angelic guide, until she faded out of sight.

When I was 18, I had an awakening that was beyond anything I had experienced before. 

I was in the garden. I didn't like to go there as much as I did as a child. We used to have a swing which I loved. On the swing, when I was seven years old, I was visited by my angelic guide. She was with several guides I knew. They were very happy. One was singing. 

On the swing, when I swung it very high, I said I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. I was matter of fact and I felt very happy.

I had a similar experience at eighteen. The guides assembled. This time, I felt the presence of a male spirit. He said he was here to help.

I didn't work with spirit guides and I was unsure. My angelic guide reassured me. As I looked closely at him, he only allowed me to look so far, then he grew impatient. That's me, I heard him say.

That was pretty much our relationship. He was like a storm I couldn't find my quiet space with. He didn't have time for anything other than what he had to say. I didn't work like that.

He wanted me to understand critical thinking. It went so deep sometimes I felt myself go into a slumber for I could not sustain my conscious thought in his presence.  

After a year he left. He said he wanted me to think two things over. The first was how I saw myself. The second was how I felt as a female. 

I often felt there was a wall between us, a wall nether could venture beyond. 

As he left, I heard him say it would falter in the end. 

When I went though my ascension, I came to know that I had a past life as a descendent of the lakota tribe. 

She came from the lineage of sitting bull. She was strong, forthright and happy.

In my incarnation she represented a shift in power. I discovered I was many things. I knew how to shoot an arrow, how to scent a trail, how to be one with the wolf.

I had knowledge of the lakota ways. These were the spiritual ways of the female and there were many levels of the higher self. There were also many teachings as to the way of the warrior. 

My spirit wished me to know the story of her meeting with her childhood sweetheart for he was the one she was promised to marry.

She felt him a bully, a loud mouth and a bore. For she was never wrong. Once she spoke, her word was said. 

Some times the children would gather at the water. She intended to teach him a lesson, for he was ill-minded with a boy she had come like.

She set her trap. It was clever and her father did laugh, for he could not chide her. 

Sizzle does he, for fire he did sent to the weaker of he. Mean spirit of the wind.

Freeze did her, for the water was bitter.

Look did he, for the sight was ill.

She spoke it to the all. Here I, she said in her spirit voice.

Now he had to think. For he was surrounded. 

Quick, said she, for you are a foolish child.

He smiled.

Mother he asked for and she did come like a lorry

Here I, he spoke to the boy, for everyone to hear. You can come by my side to the water.

I smiled, for such a frown my father did give to me.

Wait. i am not finished. Is it I thee does wish to meet?

No, not I, for I am a boy, not a one such as he. For my father was a chief and he was not the son of a chief.

When I was twelve, I was asked to go to a Christmas party held by the company my father worked for. I was a bit old for it and straight away I said no. But no didn't go anywhere in our house. 

As I was getting dressed into my party clothes, I had an inner warning. My brother was spoilt and my mother didn't like it. We all knew how to behave. Or we had to learn.

In spirit, I was asked to make sure he didn't ask for anything untoward. Now, I had a thing, it was the one thing I had, that all the family knew not to bother me. That was my play time. 

When I was told I had to go, I wasn't happy. My brother knew because I was quiet.

At the party, I gave him a look. One look. 

My sister was younger than my brother, but she knew my mother's hand. .

The party was dull. Some children were enjoying themselves. Not many.

There was food. But we didn't go to the table. There were drinks. But we didn't ask for permission. There were gifts. But we sat apart.

My father liked a drink. He came over with a pint in his hand, a smile on his lips. He showed us the food, the grotto and he waited. We had our photographs taken with Father Christmas..

We had to sit on his lap. When the photograph was taken I smiled. For I felt laughter. I felt happy. I felt my brightness. My father smiled back.

Communication in spirit was achieved. I knew it was the sun dance inside. I knew it was how I got my smile. How, I got my walk. How i got my talk. 

At night it came. My angel brought it. Rays of yellow, sun like a globe, light like the dance of the sun. 

The walk of the spirit was upon me. A few false starts, a few mishaps and then a word, a wand, a light. That's how it went, the spirit world within.

I was twelve years old. I had taken myself off the bus, scuffing the leaves that lined the sides of the street with my shoes. I did it sometimes, when I wanted to be outside.

Problems were re-surfing and I was made low with it. My sisters were going to be a part of an Indian dance group. We knew it long before it came up. That's the way it went with spirit. For me and for them too. 

I wasn't going to be a fit for the group, I knew I was young and it didn't suit. I was ok with it, but spirit didn't see things the way I did. My angel showed up. She wanted to talk. 

Her light was changing. I knew what it meant, but I din't want to look. I wasn't the same girl when I went to secondary school. I had to choose things from not just the angelic side but the religious side too. And that always made me angry.

My religious side wasn't the same as the angelic. Sometimes it made me cry. 

I had a guide. It was a male guide and I was ok with it, but I never thought it understood me. I never really thought it tried.

Separation from my mother was imminent. I realised my pathway meant I had to ascend my feelings but in practice it never felt right. I felt it an ill choice. 

My mother didn't let her feeling be known, but I felt she thought it too.

My angel was concerned. A singular pathway meant separation in its essence. Discourse was never a favourite subject.

My angel said I had to go through a change. She seldom spoke to me about my spirit walk. She wanted me to know that I needed time to reflect.

I was hurt. It coloured my world in shades of black and grey. And nothing really coloured it back. 

There is a song 'she comes in colours everywhere'.  Spirit talked to me in colours. It was the array in which it was schooled as a divine heart. 

Its message was beginning to be more clear. It wanted me to see things as perspective. This meant seeng a panoramic view. As  thought about it I realised spirit wanted me to take a break.